What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
