Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
