So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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