I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Say something about gay babies.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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