What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
