it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
