pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We need to get me chipped asap
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
