I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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