did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
