You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
