i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
