You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize