i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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