is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
