can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
