Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize