it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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