I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
