I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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