I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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