i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
