i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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