matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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