Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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