I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
