I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
