let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
