i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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