why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hate all girls vehemently.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
