yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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