Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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