It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize