i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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