3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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