Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
