I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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