I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
