ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
