his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
