this just has baby written all over it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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