Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
