I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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