Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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