im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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