Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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