and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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