new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
His nipple licking is glorious
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