When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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