yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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