Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish I could teleport
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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