I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize