Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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