I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
