hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
