Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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