I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
