Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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