Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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