Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
