fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
