he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize