He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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