I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize